The Secret Your Mom Hides From You

Learn to curve your misunderstandings gathered from childhood in order to feel your true worth.

There is beauty in your upbringing
As a mother, I can thankfully relate to my mom and everyone else’s. I can tell you that your mom meant you no harm, that is, if she truly meant you no harm. There are so many figures standing in a mother's path that it's hard to try to choose one for yourself much less choose one for you and maybe your siblings if you have any. Moms carry a lot of stress to be perfect and are expected by a very cruel society to know everything there is to know about raising a child, when in essence, she knows very little and is just trying to wing it. Think back to your own school years when everyday there was something new to learn. You started with number recognition and then moved on to addition, subtraction, multiplication, and then algebra equations. You had no idea what was to come. You had to learn on your feet and that's what moms have to do every single millisecond of every single day. Turns out, this can be quite tiring and frustrating not having any answers. But she pulled it off and at least for that, if not for anything thing else, you should be grateful. Your parents never had all of the answers and no parent ever will. The universe found a way to nurture you up to this point in your life through your parents. You made it. And for that too you should be grateful.

The fussing had NOTHING to do with you
If you lived in a household like mine, you were subject to here a lot of fussing and yelling. Sometimes it was because you wailed on your brother or sister. Sometimes it was because you wouldn't eat your dinner. Sometimes it was even for something so small as not wearing the right shirt with the right pants. Think back to hearing these yelling matches as a child? How did you feel? When your mom yelled at you for not knowing how to do a math problem, you probably felt like she was telling you that you were not smart enough to get it right. When she yelled at you for not cleaning your room without being asked, you probably felt like she was telling you that you are lazy and good for nothing. When she yelled at you for being loud, as most kids do, you probably felt like she was telling you that you get on her nerves and she wanted you to go away.

But look back again. Did your mom ever ACTUALLY say "Sally, you're not smart enough, you're good for nothing, and I want you to go away"? Did you hear those actual words? I doubt it. If you did, you need more help than I can give you in this article. But in a regular, everyday, stressed to the max household, you probably never heard your mom or dad say these things. Everything you felt like mom and dad meant were entirely in your head. They are your own preconceived notions of how you thought they felt about you based on the fact that you were a child and didn't yet realize that the yelling was simply stress-based.

You can change it in your head
Right now, you can take a small step in changing your attitude by realizing that most of your beliefs about yourself stem from a misunderstanding of childhood. Let go of those notions immediately. Know that you are whatever you make of yourself. Mom and Dad may have been stressed out to the point of yelling, but this had nothing to do with you. It was their own stress and your misunderstandings that make you think you cannot achieve what you set out to do. Don't hold on to those misunderstandings anymore. Accept them for what they were and move on with your life. Tell yourself you are worth everything you desire because you are. And recognize that your once ignorant self is gone. You are now an adult, capable of so much more than you were as a child. Start over from this point and let your determination lead the way rather than the words of your once frazzled parents.

What self limiting beliefs are you holding onto from your childhood? Is there anything  your mom or dad used to tell you that is making you think about yourself in a certain way? Please share your thoughts below and Subscribe to comments to follow along with this discussion.

Something Great Happened Because I Expected It

If you think life is being unfair, try doing something out of the ordinary to move yourself in a positive direction toward your true happiness.

Doing something different

Today, I did something I've never done before. I submitted an article as a guest post to Self Empowerment Magazine. In the past, I would practice modesty and was always afraid that my work wasn't good enough to ever be featured. I hid my work behind empty feelings that held me back from what I knew I deserved. I think in some way, I just wasn't ready for it or I would have been putting my work out on the table long before now.

Feeling something different

Today, however, I did something a little differently. I can tell you that this was no simple task. I typed up the article, spell checked at least a dozen times, and then I stared at it for about 30 minutes while I decided whether or not to press the send button. The keys on my keyboard glistened in sweat, but this time the fear came from a  different place. It was actually more of a strange, 'I feel out of place' kind of feeling more than just fear. I felt empowered and I received more than what I expected. 

Getting something different

I felt in my soul that this was to be a part of my path to happiness and I just let go. I submitted the article and stopped thinking about it. I felt sincere about allowing the universe to fulfill my desire and it happened in a way I never thought possible. I submitted the article hoping for a simple listing, but it turned out the site owner wants me to write regularly as a featured author! That was the most awesome news of the day and I'm convinced that you get exactly what you expect out of life. You just have to take the first step and allow the change to come to you. 

You can read my first article as a featured author here on Self Empowerment Magazine. 

What did you do today to move your live in a positive direction? Share you thoughts below. Subscribe to comments in order to follow this discussion.                                       

The Number One Thing You Need For a Happier Life

Recognize that in order to live a happier life, you have to know what your truly want. Never base your life on what you think other people may want for you.

Today, I ran across this article on Technorati. The funny thing is, I never read the articles on technorati. This one kinda floated onto my lap. Maybe I manifested more of my own thoughts. Yup, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what happened. The article pretty much sums up and explains my thoughts on creating the life you want for yourself. The author, Lori Michelle, describes the key factor to fulfilling your desires and finding your true happiness. She explains about 7 steps that she uses, but all in all, she realizes that in order to begin, you have to know what you want first. Read her article,  Manifesting: Is There Some Trick to Getting It Right?  I think you will find her perspective quite interesting and very similar to my own. 

How often do you daydream about your perfect life? How often do you take actin on those dreams? Once you've read Lori's article, please come back and share your thoughts here. Subscribe to comments to follow along with this discussion. 

An Eviction Is Just What I Need

You don’t need to be tied to any one location to live a happy life. Find happiness within and you can take it with you anywhere.

Home home in my heart
Today, our landlord told us we would have to pay $150 more than our regular rent in order to cover lease reinstatement fees. Mind you, we’re still in the same month we owe for, but that’s a whole other story. Of course, if you don’t have the regular rent amount you had to pay, obviously you’re not going to magically have an extra $150 lying around. Anyway, my husband and I are not worriers. There’s not much that can happen that can rock our boats so to speak. We’re content in life and we’re on our path to personal freedom so anything that gets in the way of this is hogwash as far as we’re concerned. I know what you’re thinking… what about our kids? What about what the neighbors will think? What about our credit scores? Honestly, we don’t care about any effects of any of these things. Why? Because we’ve found out that we can take our happiness with us. We are happy with ourselves and we know that there is more than one way to get what you want in life. We look for positive opportunities in everything that happens around us.

The kids don’t need stability
Since when is the world stable? So many things happen that are not directly in our control. Medical emergencies pop up, cars break down, and natural disasters erupt all of the time. I would never subject my kids to stability on purpose. The truth is, I wouldn’t want to live a stable life. The beauty of life lies in the unknown and the ever changing sense of newness. If we had all of the answers, what good would living be? My family lives “by the seat of our pant” and not one of us has had a mental breakdown yet. I think my kids are going to be ready for whatever life throws at them. This is something I think that a “stable” upbringing cannot afford.

I don’t check my credit scores. Ever.
Actually, I’m lying. I’ve checked my credit scores twice in my entire life. Yes, I realize I need to know my scores in order to know what I can buy, but honestly I have no intention of actually buying anything. Well, except maybe a car or a bike, but nothing that will take me more than a few months to pay for. I feel like if I need more than about 5-6 months to pay it off, it’s just not worth it. I don’t want to be obligated to pay for something that I can definitely do without. This is especially true of things that have an alternative like housing and transportation. You can always rent, borrow or trade for what you need. I’m just not worried about scores that label my worth. I am worth so much more than that score.

The neighbors think I can’t handle finances
Hmmm… neighbors. There’s a lot I can say about relationships with other people, but for the sake of staying on topic, I’ll just say that I have chosen to drop other people’s opinions of me and my family. There are so many things that outsiders can’t possibly know about me, so why should I let their ignorance bother me. I owe no one an apology. Furthermore, I don’t plan to give it to them. This includes the neighbors, friends, family, and the landlord herself. There’s nothing they can say to make my truth any different than what it is. I know why my rent isn’t paid on time and I’m the only one who actually needs to know why.

Hidden opportunity
We haven’t made a final decision of whether or not we’re going to pay this ridiculous late fee and stay, or dismiss it as rubbish and move. Currently though, I dislike my son’s school zone, I’d like to live closer to the country or the beach, this apartment does not suit my personal taste, and boredom with this place is really starting to kick in. Like I said, I like to have things mixed up and we’ve been living here for almost a year. In my opinion, it’s time to move on anyway, but I’m perfectly fine staying a little longer if my husband wants to. Guess I’ll have to wait and see what happens… so exciting not knowing exactly what to expect.

Can you find the good in my situation? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Share your thoughts below. Subscribe to comments to follow this discussion. If you found this inspiring and useful, please retweet using the button above.

All You'll Ever Need In Life

Stop worrying about having enough of what you need in life and realize it’s always there for the taking.

What are you worried about?
My main downfall has always been worrying. I worry about not having what I need. I worry that I won’t be able to pay my bills. I worry that I’ll lose my home. I worry that I will run out of food, get bored, lose my car, lose my hair, lose my nerve, and not be able to provide for my family. These are legitimate concerns seeing as how no one can know what’s going to come next in their life. But I don’t think we should worry so much. I think that the mystery of life is worth a heartfelt investment. I mean seriously, if we knew what was coming next, what would be the point of living? We would already know the ending. It’s like spoiling a really good novel. I think we should stop trying to spoil our own novel and just let it flow.

So what do you really need?
What do you think you need? A house? A car? A job? Hardly! I mean what do you really actually need in order to live? Let’s ignore what society says we should have for just a second. For right now, there’s no one on Earth except for you and nature. There are no houses. There are no buildings. There are no planes, trains, or automobiles. You are surrounded be bright blue sky, brilliantly lush grass, fertile soil, beautiful animals, sparkling water, and clean fresh air. That sounds refreshing doesn’t it? Everything you need you can find on the land and it’s free. There’s water in the spring. There’s an abundant source of food in the form of wild hogs and flourishing plant life. There’s shelter underneath the trees and in caves. You’ll get plenty of exercise just living from day to day and how could you possibly get bored with so much activity all around you?


Can you think of a need that can’t be addressed naturally without any effort from you or another human being? What are you worried about not having enough of? Journal your thoughts then share your reflections below. If possible, help others see past their own limiting thoughts. Subscribe to comments to follow this discussion.