The Number One Thing You Need For a Happier Life

Recognize that in order to live a happier life, you have to know what your truly want. Never base your life on what you think other people may want for you.

Today, I ran across this article on Technorati. The funny thing is, I never read the articles on technorati. This one kinda floated onto my lap. Maybe I manifested more of my own thoughts. Yup, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what happened. The article pretty much sums up and explains my thoughts on creating the life you want for yourself. The author, Lori Michelle, describes the key factor to fulfilling your desires and finding your true happiness. She explains about 7 steps that she uses, but all in all, she realizes that in order to begin, you have to know what you want first. Read her article,  Manifesting: Is There Some Trick to Getting It Right?  I think you will find her perspective quite interesting and very similar to my own. 

How often do you daydream about your perfect life? How often do you take actin on those dreams? Once you've read Lori's article, please come back and share your thoughts here. Subscribe to comments to follow along with this discussion. 

An Eviction Is Just What I Need

You don’t need to be tied to any one location to live a happy life. Find happiness within and you can take it with you anywhere.

Home home in my heart
Today, our landlord told us we would have to pay $150 more than our regular rent in order to cover lease reinstatement fees. Mind you, we’re still in the same month we owe for, but that’s a whole other story. Of course, if you don’t have the regular rent amount you had to pay, obviously you’re not going to magically have an extra $150 lying around. Anyway, my husband and I are not worriers. There’s not much that can happen that can rock our boats so to speak. We’re content in life and we’re on our path to personal freedom so anything that gets in the way of this is hogwash as far as we’re concerned. I know what you’re thinking… what about our kids? What about what the neighbors will think? What about our credit scores? Honestly, we don’t care about any effects of any of these things. Why? Because we’ve found out that we can take our happiness with us. We are happy with ourselves and we know that there is more than one way to get what you want in life. We look for positive opportunities in everything that happens around us.

The kids don’t need stability
Since when is the world stable? So many things happen that are not directly in our control. Medical emergencies pop up, cars break down, and natural disasters erupt all of the time. I would never subject my kids to stability on purpose. The truth is, I wouldn’t want to live a stable life. The beauty of life lies in the unknown and the ever changing sense of newness. If we had all of the answers, what good would living be? My family lives “by the seat of our pant” and not one of us has had a mental breakdown yet. I think my kids are going to be ready for whatever life throws at them. This is something I think that a “stable” upbringing cannot afford.

I don’t check my credit scores. Ever.
Actually, I’m lying. I’ve checked my credit scores twice in my entire life. Yes, I realize I need to know my scores in order to know what I can buy, but honestly I have no intention of actually buying anything. Well, except maybe a car or a bike, but nothing that will take me more than a few months to pay for. I feel like if I need more than about 5-6 months to pay it off, it’s just not worth it. I don’t want to be obligated to pay for something that I can definitely do without. This is especially true of things that have an alternative like housing and transportation. You can always rent, borrow or trade for what you need. I’m just not worried about scores that label my worth. I am worth so much more than that score.

The neighbors think I can’t handle finances
Hmmm… neighbors. There’s a lot I can say about relationships with other people, but for the sake of staying on topic, I’ll just say that I have chosen to drop other people’s opinions of me and my family. There are so many things that outsiders can’t possibly know about me, so why should I let their ignorance bother me. I owe no one an apology. Furthermore, I don’t plan to give it to them. This includes the neighbors, friends, family, and the landlord herself. There’s nothing they can say to make my truth any different than what it is. I know why my rent isn’t paid on time and I’m the only one who actually needs to know why.

Hidden opportunity
We haven’t made a final decision of whether or not we’re going to pay this ridiculous late fee and stay, or dismiss it as rubbish and move. Currently though, I dislike my son’s school zone, I’d like to live closer to the country or the beach, this apartment does not suit my personal taste, and boredom with this place is really starting to kick in. Like I said, I like to have things mixed up and we’ve been living here for almost a year. In my opinion, it’s time to move on anyway, but I’m perfectly fine staying a little longer if my husband wants to. Guess I’ll have to wait and see what happens… so exciting not knowing exactly what to expect.

Can you find the good in my situation? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Share your thoughts below. Subscribe to comments to follow this discussion. If you found this inspiring and useful, please retweet using the button above.

All You'll Ever Need In Life

Stop worrying about having enough of what you need in life and realize it’s always there for the taking.

What are you worried about?
My main downfall has always been worrying. I worry about not having what I need. I worry that I won’t be able to pay my bills. I worry that I’ll lose my home. I worry that I will run out of food, get bored, lose my car, lose my hair, lose my nerve, and not be able to provide for my family. These are legitimate concerns seeing as how no one can know what’s going to come next in their life. But I don’t think we should worry so much. I think that the mystery of life is worth a heartfelt investment. I mean seriously, if we knew what was coming next, what would be the point of living? We would already know the ending. It’s like spoiling a really good novel. I think we should stop trying to spoil our own novel and just let it flow.

So what do you really need?
What do you think you need? A house? A car? A job? Hardly! I mean what do you really actually need in order to live? Let’s ignore what society says we should have for just a second. For right now, there’s no one on Earth except for you and nature. There are no houses. There are no buildings. There are no planes, trains, or automobiles. You are surrounded be bright blue sky, brilliantly lush grass, fertile soil, beautiful animals, sparkling water, and clean fresh air. That sounds refreshing doesn’t it? Everything you need you can find on the land and it’s free. There’s water in the spring. There’s an abundant source of food in the form of wild hogs and flourishing plant life. There’s shelter underneath the trees and in caves. You’ll get plenty of exercise just living from day to day and how could you possibly get bored with so much activity all around you?


Can you think of a need that can’t be addressed naturally without any effort from you or another human being? What are you worried about not having enough of? Journal your thoughts then share your reflections below. If possible, help others see past their own limiting thoughts. Subscribe to comments to follow this discussion.

Take the First Step In Your Journey

Here are a few things you can expect to encounter on your path to a happier life.

Are you a Joe Schmoe?
We've been taught all of our lives to think a certain way. We're supposed to be kind and stay close to our biological families. We're supposed to help everyone in our path. We're supposed to be social creatures without regard to our true feelings. We're also supposed to go to school, earn a degree, get a job, get married, raise a family, and live according to our pre-determined religions. Does that sound like the life you really want or would you prefer to live by your own rules and find your true happiness? I don't know, maybe this is your path to true happiness, but if you're anything like me it just won't do.

Are you really ready for this?
Just so you know, this journey is not going to be easy. You're going to have to do some things that you've been conditioned to believe are wrong or bad. You're going to have to let go of some people who have been in your life for a long time. You're going to have to use your creativity and resourcefulness to make things happen that are seemingly out of your control. You're going to have to erase your labels and roles and focus on living in the present with guidance from the future. You think you're ready for this? You have no idea! This way of life if not for those who seek comfort. There will be many times you will feel uncomfortable but that's supposed to happen in order to break free from social conditioning.

So, are you ready to begin? If not, don't force it. Your negativity will ruin the effect. If you're wondering why you're even thinking about trying this, my answer to you is, why not? If you're in an unhappy place wondering if things will ever turn around for you, I say give it a try. I can't promise this will work for you and I can't promise it won't either. It's like trying out different diets until you find the one that works for you. This diet happens to be FREE and at the end you can at least be able to say you gave it your best shot. Don't you think you owe it to yourself to try anything to increase happiness in your life? I do. You are soooooo worth it. We all are. If you are not ready, you can leave. If you are ready, let's keep going.

A note before you begin
These activities are listed in order of importance so if you are following along, make sure you do so in order. Not everyone will be in the same point on their journey at the same time. This is not a race. Take your time and use your best judgement when working on finding your true happiness. In order to track your progress and allow help from others, I suggest you start a journal either online or on paper. However, it will be easier to get help from those around you if you chart your path online. An online journal simply allows you to receive multiple points of view when trying to get advice on certain situations that may arise. Other than that, we're ready to go.

Outline of the journey to a happy life
This list serves as a simple outline of what you can expect while working toward achieving happiness in your life. Each of these steps will be described in much greater detail as time passes and will probably need more than one post to fully explain.

1. Change your attitude
2. Love yourself
3. Imagine your happy ending
4. Select your life values
5. Edit your life
6. Create short term goals

I encourage you to take notes, bookmark this page, or subscribe to this blog because this is going to be your guide if you choose to follow along. You are welcome to come back here for pointers if you get stuck along the way. We also depend on you to share your advice with others who may need help getting untangled. If you know someone who you think might need this, send them a link and let them know you care about their happiness. Stay tuned for each step and be warned... Once this ride starts, it's not going to stop and you might find it difficult to get off :) Good luck on your path and I hope to see you in comments.


Have you subscribed yet? If you've read this far, I assume you're ready to start your own journey. Let me help you. Subscribe so that you can easily come back here for advice if you get stuck. 

How to Do What You Love Right Now

Knowing what you want and actually doing what you want are worlds apart. Here's one way I'm doing what I want without succumbing to excuses.


Where are all these excuses coming from?

What's better than knowing what you want? The only thing I can think of is actually doing it, but have you noticed there's always something holding you back? What you feel are blockages from what you truly want are really just your own excuses to keep you stuck in your rut. Remember when you were a kid... I'll give you time since some of us have to think back further than others... Are you there yet? Ok, little more time?... Now remember when your mom wasn't watching and you got the urge to write on the walls, flip on the bed, or any of the other annoying things kids do? Did you you ever think to yourself, "Naw, I can't jump on the bed right now. I have to do XYZ first and there's not enough ABC to do it anyway. Plus, Mom might not want me to"? Of course not! You went for it, the same way I went for it, and the same way any kid would go for it. Growing up has made us so afraid of ourselves and other people's expectations that we've forgotten that we can do whatever we want whenever we want. That's why I encourage my closest friends to think and act in the present with guidance from the future. Let go of the past where all of your limiting beliefs lie and you can then move forward.

Recognize when you are making excuses
I would right a blog post but I don't have a way to add pictures. I would like to be an artist but I don't have enough money for supplies. I would like to dance but I've never taken any classes. i would like to stop hanging out with Jane, but what will Paul think? Any of these sound familiar? These are excuses for not doing what you want to do. The minute the words I can't cross your mind, you have just made an excuse because actually you can. You can do whatever you want whenever you want to do it. Don't listen to your mind. Your mind is hard coded to help you survive. To do what you want, you must listen to your heart a.k.a. your spirit. This is your creative side that knows no boundaries.

What will happen when you stop making excuses?
What's the secret to doing what you want? Resourcefulness and bravery. Sometimes you might not have exactly what you would like to have in order to get started doing whatever you want. Sometimes you have to work with what you already have. I am very proud of the picture I drew in this post using a scrap of paper, a black marker, and some ancient color pencils. I could have easily let go of my desire to be an artist with such excuses as: I've never taken classes, I'm not good enough to make people like it, and I don't have top quality supplies. I also let go of trying to please other people, which happens to be much easier said than done. It took a lot of patience to stop worrying about what other people think of me, but it's not impossible. The sooner you can do this, the better. I'm an artist today because I recognized my excuses and moved past them, which is exactly what I recommend to you. Once you're able to let go of excuses, you will be able to move forward and do the things that make you happy. Start living what you want and it will show itself.


Let's help each other move past our self limiting excuses. Name one thing you really really want to do right now? What do you feel is holding you back? Share your thoughts below and give your advice to others who can't see around their excuses. Subscribe to comments to follow this discussion.

Things to Do While You're Naked

We all hope for financial stability, don't we? I mean, when was the last time you heard someone say "gee I'd love to be penniless and homeless". But we all know that the truth is, it could happen to any of us. Everyday, we do everything within our power to fight to keep it from happening. And while it's not the best situation to have to face, I've come up with a few ideas of what you can do should you ever find yourself in this situation, starting with the least horrible scenario.

Home with no furniture/decor - Really? Get over over it. Be grateful for the roof over your head and be patient for what's to come.

No clothing - Go to Goodwill, Salvation Army, or a local thrift store. You'll find some inexpensive and often times irressistible items there. Or, learn to sew and make your clothing from donated clothes. This is called upcycling and it's actually becoming a mini-trend. You can create the look you want by piecing together parts from many different garments.

No personal transportation - Use public transportation. I know where I live it's pretty cheap. Invest in a bike. It doesn't need gas, you'll get exercise, and it's low maintenance. Start walking...need I say more?

No friends - Start talking to people that strike you as interesting. Spark up conversations online. Go on Craigslist and plan meetups in your area based on shared interests. Go to the library and make friendly conversation with people browsing books that you like too.

No job - Do odd jobs around the neighborhood. Wash cars, babysit, organize, or cook for your neighbors. Use your skills (everyone is good at something) and work for yourself. Even if all you know how to do is talk, you could sit with the elderly and keep them company for a few hours a day.

No food - Buy or make a fishing line and catch your food if you live near water. Start a garder or even better a garden coop if you can get some help. Go to local homeless kitchens. Eat at friends and relatives houses until you can get back on track. Also, dare I say it, give foodstamps a try until you're back on your feet.

So there. If you're down on your luck, all hope is not lost. You can always pick yourself up out of the trenches. These are just a few things to get you thinking positively. I find that if you plan for the worst and hope for the best, you get more out of life and you will find yourself ready for anything.

Now it's your turn! What would you add to this list? Try to name one thing you would do if you were stripped of everything you have right now. Share your thoughts below. Be sure to subscribe to comments to follow this discussion.

Where True Love Comes From

Things exist because they do.
Humans, and everything else on this Earth, have come to be by the joining together of super-micro ions as they float naturally. Everything came together because that is what it was going to do anyway. We as humans can not make air, it simply is. We can not create rocks, they simply are. Matter is matter because it was always going to be. There are many physical and chemical changes that happen that are totally outside of anyone or anything's control simply because it is. If you use your imagination to go backwards in time, you can see that everything is evolving. It doesn't need a reason to evolve or happen. It doesn't need permission. It just happens due to the natural cause and effect of the universe.

Your awareness is what makes these random occurances mean anything.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a noise? I would have to be inclined to say no. In fact, without awareness, I would have to say the tree does not exist at all. The tree as we know it would just be one of the many random causes of the random events of the universe. Our unique awarenes is what gives life to the tree or deadness to the discarded glass bottle. If we didn't possess awareness as a conscious being, these things would have absolutely no meaning. Someone had to first give notice to things in order to make it special. Everything we see is loved by our awareness. Only out of love can we have a feeling about it. Our bodies are just matter. The body and the mind could not have awareness on thier own because they are just more random causes of random events of the universe.

True love can be felt only when you realize you are love.
What makes a flower beautiful? What makes life important? What allows us to notice colors in a rainbow? Love. And this love comes from our awareness. Again, without our awareness, we would just be droning masses of matter merely existing and living out survival instincts of the mind. We wouldn`t take notice of anything and nothing would have value. This type of love is not the material love we think of when we hear the word. When we fear something, we must love it or we wouldn't care. Care is what love is all about. Caring for everything is the ultimate love. It means that you are in-tune with your consciousness and remain aware of your surroundings at all times. Being aware that you have awareness is an even higher mark of love because it allows you freedom from the material world. You will no longer search for love in the world outside because you realize there is no outside. You are bursting with love. You are love because you are awareness.

Now, I would like for you to close your eyes and try to imagine this world without love. What are you noticing about how people interact with other people and things around them? Please share your thoughts.

Long Term Goals and Short Term Goals.. There is a Difference

We've all made goals at some point in our lives. Some goals we accomplish, some we are still working on achieving, and some are tossed aside in frustration. This has to be the best definition of the majority of the goals I've tried to complete in the past. That's because I was missing some very important information about goals. I had to discover the big difference between long term and short term goals. The difference is so big that they cannot even be listed together on the Great To-Do List.

Long term goals are more like the overall way we wish to live our lives. These goals serve as a destination that could never be finalized. They are something we can always be working on. For instance, my long term goals fall along the lines of:

personal growth
being optimistic
being honest
living a healthy life
having fun
being creative

Your list may be entirely different from mine. The idea here is to have your long term goals reflect your top ten life values. Steve Pavlina has a posted an extensive list of values that I find incredibly useful for figuring out my own values. Once you've narrowed your list down to ten values, you can them turn them into long term goals.

Your short term goals are going to be the ones that help you live out your long term goals. For instance, I wish to live a creative life. So no matter what short term goals I choose, I should try to add some creativity to everything I do. Therefore, one of my short term goals could be learing to paint on canvas or I could learn to act on Broadway. Those are just two ways in which I could live creatively. Obviously, there are numerous ways to achieve that lifestyle and live out that specific long term goal.

Through the separation of long term and short term goals, I am able to create the life experiences I desire. My short term goals will act as my means to my long term goal ends. I want my short term goals to allow me to look back over my life and show how I've accomplished living out my values. I will allow my short term goals to serve as my life experiences that allow me to live out long term goals everyday.

I'm ready to shape my life into what I want it to be and take full control. To do that, I know I must not only choose my long and short term goals, but I must follow through as well. What are your short term and long term goals? What would you like to see when you look back over the span of your life?

Autopilot vs Full Control

Have you ever lied in bed at night wondering where your day went? You know you ate a meal because there are dishes in the sink. You know you showered because you're clean and there's a mysterious pile of dirty laundry on the floor. You did a lot, but you don't really remember anything. This feeling comes from living on autopilot. When you let life happen to you, you become a slave of habits. Not saying that all habits are bad, but if you wish to truly experience life, you have to be there mentally, spiritually, and physically at every single moment.

I make my life about the experience. I mean really, what else is there to life? It doesn't matter how big or small you perceive the event to be. What's important is that you live in that moment and that moment alone. It's very difficult to change from autopilot to full control, but it is possible and it's a great experience if you can pull it off.

To get out of autopilot mode, I've set my cell phone to ring every hour as a reminder to pay attention to my surroundings. I do this every hour for at least five minutes. The purpose of this is to do it so often that it becomes second nature. When I'm living from experience to experience instead of on autopilot, I feel no stress about bills or what I'm going to have for dinner. There is no past nor future. I simply breathe in everything that's going on right then. I focus on each of my senses and express gratitude for what I am able to see, hear, touch, smell, and taste. I express gratitude for my thoughts right at that moment. I express gratitude for my vehicle that is my body. And in those moments, I know that I don't NEED anything else. I already have everything to make my life what I want it to be.

There are many things you may have been missing in your life simply because you weren't really there. I'm on day 3 of living in the moment and I have to say it's very confusing in the beginning. The most difficult part, I would have to say, is keeping your mind from drifting into the future or the past. It comes as a fun challenge though and I believe I'm getting better. The best experience I've had so far??? I actually noticed my son for the first time in a long time. Sure, I see him everyday, but I've been on autopilot for so long that I've forgotten who he was. Terrible I know, but I can appreciate him a lot more now and I'm glad I made this change in my life. I'd love to hear about your experiences while living in the moment. What are you missing in your life?

New Year's Resolution Worth Keeping

Every year I say it and by about the 10th day of the year or so, I forget or quit or fail. The problem with making a New Year's resolution is that I've never known where I want to be in life. I barely know who I am but I'm working on it. I think the best New Year's resolution I can create for myself would be to discover who I am and who I want to be.

Walk with me for a minute here. I'm slowly turning my life into a dream world where I can create the life I want just by changing my level of consciousness. By being more aware of myself and my surroundings, I hope that I can create a sort of oneness that allows me to live any life I choose. Sort of like the Matrix movie, I can feed chunks of knowledge to myself and learn as I go. I expect wonderous things from this way of life.

The idea is to live a life of gratitude for what I already have, concentrate on what I want, live out my current life values, and share whatever I can with others. In creating this oneness, I can realize that by sharing with others, I am in essence sharing with myself. I am living a judge-free life and learning to see things from multiple perspectives.

I actually started this journey on December 9, 2010 and it was so overwhelming and life altering. From then, I've begun living a more conscious life, all day everyday. I've found that the more I allow myself to live in the moment, the less stress I'm exposed to. I've also found out that I'm the only one causing the stress in my life and that any stress still lingering is only a flaw for me to dive deeper into. To get rid of it, I have to sort things out for myself and find out why I'm still holding on to it. Let go of the fears so to speak.

Anyway more about those things later. I could go on about my experiences forever and it's only been about a month. I haven't even scratched the surface of what's to come. For now, I'll just say that my life is changing drastically and I'm loving the experience of it all so far. If you'd like to learn more about changing your own life, go to StevePavlina.com and dive in. My favorite topic there is about subjective reality. I think you'll find it quite interesting or you'll just think I'm a loon for believing in such a thing. But either way, I'm glad to be on this path and encourage you to try it yourself. If you have any questions or need help, just ask. What are your New Year's resolutions?