Are You an Idealist Like Me?

Do you ever take those personality quizzes you find online? I don't, but I gave this one a try anyway. It was short and sweet, plus it was recommended by one of the bloggers I visit often (thanks Lisa over at Mommying on the Fly). She turned out to be a scientist according to this quiz. She has two beautiful twin girls, and she hosts an awesome blog hop. You should definitely check it out if you're in the market for more followers on your own blog. Here's what this quiz revealed about me (and it was spot on too):

I'm creative with great imagination.
I enjoy living in my own inner world.
I'm open-minded and accepting. I strive for harmony in my important relationships.
It takes a while to get to know me. I am hesitant to let people get close to me.
Once I care for someone, I do everything I can to help them grow and develop.

In love, I have high (often unrealistic) standards.
I am very sensitive and tend to have intense feelings.

At work, I need to do something that expresses my personal values.
I would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

I see myself as unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual.
When others don't get me, they see me as unrealistic, naive, and weak.

So are you going to go take the quiz? Let me know what you turn out to be... You never know, we might have more in common than you think. Oh and don't forget to sign up for Lisa's blog hop!

Share your quiz outcome below. Subscribe to comments to see how others relate to you.

You Can Choose to Live Without Being Judged

The Past
Pretty good at nothing. I was a runner. At best I was an alcoholic as a teenager. Remember how somethings just felt like the thing to do? I made up for what I lacked in self esteem with booze, sex, and an uncanny ability to make myself numb. Brown skin plagued me and led me to believe there was a certain way I should behave because of it. How I wished I could shed that skin. Excellent student though. Perfect grades in grade school and middle. Would you have given up so late in the game as I did? I only had one teeny tiny semester left in high school. I didn't make it. I felt way to watched and way too judged. It was way too much to bear. Oh well. I did get my GED. Do you think that counts? I did it for my son. He didn't care. He wasn't born. Nothing was for me. It was all for you and your judgements. Are you happy now? Will you ever be happy?

The Future
I manage to make my true self happy after all. My kids never care that I graduated. In fact, no one cares. No one can see my flaws. I feel flawless and invincible. I help everyone I am able to help. I float through life gracefully and effortlessly. I don't need anything I don't already have. I can feel my true power shining through my physical being. I know where I am and could care less about where I've been or where I'm going next.

The Present
My kids don't care about my choice to quit high school. In fact, I don't think anyone cares. And anyone who does care, does not deserve my attention. So what did I learn about quiting high school? I don't need any school to tell me how to live. I don't need school to be able to help others. And what did I learn about using alcohol? I don't need alcohol to solve my insecurity issues because there are none. How do I know? My future tells me so. My chosen path decides for me. I am a strong willed being who lives outside of society rules, labels, judgements, time constraints, and discrimination. These things are hereby banished from my life from this point forward. I call the shots on my life. I decide what to make of it. I live each experience as if I've never encountered it before because essentially I haven't. Everything feels fresh and alive to me. I am grateful for this journey. Are you holding on to anything from your past? You do know that you don't have to be defined by your past, right? Learn to let it all go because each moment reveals itself in a new way. Nothing ever happens exactly the same way twice.

What are you holding on to? Please share your self judgements below. Subscribe to comments to follow along with the discussion.

The Chosen Ones...Life Values

Read the revised version of this post here.

These are the values I've chosen to guide my life outcome. I want to live my life for the experiences rather than for material reasons. I think this life path suits who I really am and who I'd like to become.

1. Personal Growth
2. Integrity
3. Courage
4. Optimism
5. Health
6. Respect
7. Diversity
8. Adaptability
9. Comfort
10. Creativity

As of now, these are my most strongly held values in order of importance to me. None of these words are meant to resonate with any other being besides myself. Using this basic list, I can now know what direction is best for my life. And at this point, I realize that I am still growing and my values may change. However, I feel that this is a firm start on shaping how I will live my life in order to achieve the outcome I desire. Good thing adaptability is one of my values...

I'd love to read your own list of values. What's most important to you in life?

Choosing Your Life Values

Read the revised version of this post here.

So I've been giving great attention to the meaning of my life and where I'd like to end this journey. Before I can do that though, I had to first recognize what's most important to me. This was no easy task. I had to sort through the years of social conditioning and past experiences. I didn't want my list of values to be biased in any way. I wanted it to have meaning directly related to me as an individual, or should I say directly related to my conscious self. To finalize my list of values, I had to do quite a bit of soul searching.

To begin, I created a rough draft based on how I've been choosing to live in the past. I looked for patterns of strong emotion. I looked for patterns of activities that I am naturally drawn to. This long process came up with about 18 words that I felt I already reflected in some way or another.

At this point, I went through each one and took out any that I felt were empty justifications of being human. In other words, I removed words that were not what I valued, but what I thought I should value. Even in my attempt to figure out who I am, I was still trying to please other people. Basically, those were no good so I shortened the list to 11 words.

With those 11 words, I went through each one again. This time I fast forwarded to my much older self. I closed my eyes and envisioned my life the way I wanted it to be in old age. Then, looking at my list of words, I made sure that each one fit in with that vision. If any of the words felt even slightly off-putting, it had to go. There were 4 off-putting words! Guess what? They had to go.

In my last step, I revised what i had come up with. The remaining 7 words were put in order of importance. I think I read that list at least 100 times just to make sure that the words all felt right. They did and I ended up adding 3 more words. Now that I think about it, those last 3 don't seem all that necessary, but they still feel right. I tried leaving them out, but the list felt incomplete. So now I have a list of 10 values that I feel very strongly about and I'm confident that they will carry me through a long and fulfilling lifetime.

Have you created a list of your own values? If so, what method did you use?

The Sabbotage of My Mind

I wrote a post about my values in which I was misled severely. My mind, with all of its emotions and labels, led me to believe that those were in fact the values I want to live by. Appearently, until I train my thoughts to agree with my spirit, this will be a natural reoccurance. However, I recognize my mind's interference and I have made adjustments accordingly.

If you like, you can read my mind's "perfect" values here. They are perfectly misleading. You can read my spirit's values here. Living for the present has once again proved to point me to my true self. I love my life :)

Acceptance of My Current State of Mind

I do not have all of the answers.
It's very difficult to realize that I don't have all of the answers for my life. It's scary and confusing because what I think I want for myself is not true. Everytime I get to a point where I think I've figured something out, I learn something new about who I really am.

I am more than I appear to be.
I am not my past experiences. I am not my roles I play on Earth. I am not my emotions. I am not my physical body. I am so much more than these things. I am energy that lives outside the constraints of time. I am consciousness that gives life to all.

My mind is sabotaging my efforts to be great.
I realize that if I can not set aside my mind's point of view, I will never experience my greatness. That brings me back to my fears and the whole point of this journal. I FEEL like I will be judged for my mistakes here. I FEEL ashamed of not knowing my true self. I FEEL insecure about my future. The truth is, these feelings do not define me. I have nothing to be afraid of. I wanted to erase my previous posts and start over but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to push through this and move on, knowing that I have made a small growth transformation.

My physical body is not meant to be perfect.
So, in closing, I would like to say that my mind is always churning and my emotions are always fighting to be heard, but I will continue to put my fears aside and post what is really in my heart as I go. I will not get tangled up in the emotions that make me want to behave "perfectly" because I realize that there is no perfect. Perfect is some misunderstood childhood notion that I can choose to not be a part of.

There is no reason to feel apologetic.
Now, with that said, this journal will represent my true personal growth journey. On this journey, there will be no such thing as perfect, or fear, or right, or wrong, or good, or bad. Everything that happens will be in the present and therefore completely true. If I live in the present, there will be no reason to feel apologetic. My mind can not be trusted to define who I am as a supreme Being, but I can live for right now and trust that everything that is happening is true. My emotions will be the result of what is currently happening and therefore more reliable. By living in the present, I will not even give my emotions the opportunity to sabbotage my efforts.